Tag Archive | middle age

Call Me…Please! Call Me…Maybe?

Daily Prompt:  Call Me Maybe:  Describe your relationship with your phone. Is it your lifeline, a buzzing nuisance, or something in between?

waiting_for_phone_to_ring

 

I sit and stare at it willing it to ring.  Come on phone ring…ring…ring!  Then like magic the I hear the beautiful voice of Alicia Keys singing “This Girl Is On Fire.”  (Okay so my choice in ring tones is a little off but it is supposed to be inspiring)  Quickly I pick up the phone and with bated breath I wait to hear the voice on the other end. 

Is this the decision maker of the house?”

I’m quickly deflated and before spewing my disappointment and frustration on the poor sole just trying to make a living, I hang up the phone.

My phone and I have developed a love/hate relationship as of late.  You see being a forty-five year old woman who hasn’t held a real job in almost 18 years, waiting to hear from the millions of job applications she has sent out, can wreak havoc on your relationship with your phone.

So you see I am trying to stay positive, surrounding myself with the words of Alicia Keys…”This Girl is On Fire”, but I am nearing desperation and may soon use the words of Carle Rae Jepsen… “Call Me Maybe. 

Here is to all my fellow stay at home moms trying to find their way back into the work force.  Keep your head up, your spirit high and your phone close by because one of these days it’s just gotta ring and until then… create your own destiny!

CMDestiny

 

 

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The House of Mirrors

Today’s daily prompt: 1984; you are locked in a room with your greatest fear.  Describe what is in the room with you.

Capture

I reach for the door, slowly turn the handle only to find that it won’t turn.  Anxiously I try again twisting back and forth but it is locked.  Quickly I turn  to find another way out but find myself trapped in a room with my greatest fear.

Everywhere I look I see nothing but my reflection.  A room filled with mirrors with no way to escape and forced to look at myself from every angle.  To the left I see the slight bulge that used to be a waistline, to the right I see the lines etching themselves into my face, straight ahead is my anxiety over what I cannot control, and behind me is my self-doubt about who I am.  In a futile attempt to escape the images I look up.  As scary as my reflections may be what I am faced with now makes my heart stop.  Above me is a clock.  The sole reminder that time keeps moving forward and I can not stop it or slow it down.  I drop my head and once again I am faced with my reflection.

Quickly I close my eyes and count to ten hoping that when I open them again it will all be gone.  In the background I can hear that insistent ticking of the clock., tic-toc-tic-toc.  Slowly I open my eyes, the mirrors are still there.  I look to the right there it is that same bulge, but wait is it not the reminder of the three wonderful children I have.  I glance to the right and take a closer look at the lines on my face are they not the etchings from a life of smiling and squinting to see things more clearly.  Straight ahead, is that anxiety or excitement?  Gathering all of my courage I know I still have to look behind me into the mirror of self-doubt.  I turn and look, there it is just as clearly as before.  The fear I have been feeling has left me and in its place is nothing but anger.  How dare I doubt myself, if it was anyone else I would banish them from my life.  I raise my fist and unleash the anger upon the reflection of my doubt.  The mirror shatters and lays in pieces at my feet in it’s place an open door lays before me.

I suppose life is merely a matter of perspective and we only have a limited time to make of it what we want.

Mamma Needs a New Pair of Shoes

MP9004049221That’s right, this Mamma needs a new pair of shoes.  Time to throw away the old comfortable loafers and grab a new pair of fashionable, professional shoes.

For eighteen years I have been wearing the practical mom shoes.  You know how it is, the first few years you spend running after the kids then you spend the next fifteen years running them around, play group, little league, school parties, doctor’s appointments, workouts, work, it just keeps going and going.  Well this middle age mom is ready to trade those practical shoes in for a pair of shoes that might not be quite so comfortable but are definitely more exciting.

I have spent the last year re-educating myself to enter back into the work force.  Once upon a time a long, long time ago I was more than just a wife and mother.  I was actually a professional making a good salary and participating in the world of people over twenty years old.  As a matter of fact I was pretty darn good at what I did.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret my decision to stay at home with my kids, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.  My kids have thrived from having me at home, but my job with them is pretty much done, so now it is time to revisit me.

So here I sit on the edge of a new beginning.  The schooling is done the resume is written and the applications are filled out.  Now I just have to sit and wait.  The resume writing was a challenge and a half.  How is it that you can turn raising three kids, one husband and managing a home look impressive work experience?  I guess that is where my creative writing comes in handy.  Let’s be real, running a household isn’t that much different from running a business.  I can balance a budget, multitask, I’m organized, work well under pressure, deal well with conflict, a great team builder.  Yup being a mom, or domestic engineer as I prefer to call it, gives you most of the skills you need for any job.

2013 promises to be an exciting new year.  This old dog is ready to try some new tricks.  I better reorganize my closet so I can make room for those new shoes.

To my fellow stay-at-home moms and/or middle age women I hope you wear whatever shoes you want to.  Don’t be afraid to try on a new pair if they keep calling your name.  No they may not be as comfortable as your old ones but with a little time you can break them in.  If you are satisfied with the shoes you are currently wearing be proud of yourself for what you are doing.  We are all contributing to society in one way or another and we need to be proud of that.  Don’t short change yourself you still have the skills to compete in the work force if you so chose.  If you have another dream hold on tight to it, your time will come, don’t give up and believe in yourself.  Before you know it the kids won’t need you as much any more and you take a little time for yourself.

Wish me luck…it’s been a long time since I’ve had to knock on doors and sell myself as an asset to your company!

Forever Summer

Time goes so slowly, another school year is starting and it will be absolutely forever before it is over.  It will be forever before I get out of school.  Thirteen years of school and then on to college for another four.  You have to be kidding me, I am going to spend my entire life in school, it is never going to end.  If only I had a time  machine, I could jump through time and get on to the exciting part of life.

Apparently I found my time travel machine.  That is the only explanation I can find for how fast the time has gone.  I cannot really be the mother of a college student and two other teenagers.  Am I not a teen myself?  Wait no I passed through those years, that’s right, I wished them away.  It’s not that I want them back, I just don’t understand how it all went so quickly.

I still remember that feeling of time moving so slowly.   A year of school seemed like a lifetime,  just waiting for the next summer to come along to mark my freedom.  The endless summer that seemed to go on forever allowing my brain to cleanse itself of all I had learned throughout the school year.  I had all the time in the world, never a rush, and always tomorrow.

The blink of an eye.  That is all it takes now.  A blink of an eye and the school year is over.  A blink of an eye and the frost is in the air and the summer is gone.  A blink of an eye and the kids are grown and moving on.  There is never enough time, it’s always a rush and my tomorrows are coming to quickly.  Soon there will be no more school years.  The kids will be gone and I will have to find another marker of time.

I think I would like to turn off my time  machine for just a little while.    Just long enough to savor these precious moments.

If I can teach my kids just one more thing it would be to not wish their life away.  Don’t rush through today looking for tomorrow.  Today is a beautiful day so live it to the fullest, enjoy it and make it count.  Perhaps I can be a role model for you, watch me and learn.  I am making the most out of every day, and although the calendar tells me I am in the fall season of life, I intend to  live like it is forever summer.

I’m Not Super-Woman

The water is calling me to come and play!

Apparently I am not super woman.  I cannot actually do and be everything.  It came to me as somewhat of a surprise and I must admit, a slight disappointment, but I believe I am coming to terms with it now. Sometimes you just have to let something go in order to get done what truly needs to get done, hence the silence on the blog front for the past little while.

I think it is maturity and the aging process that has finally taught me that it is okay to admit that you can’t do it all.  I look back on my early years as a mom and wife and wonder what I was thinking.  Apparently the word “NO” was only in my children’s vocabulary.  Now as I am older I do not feel any guilt when I say “no I can’t do that.”  I feel no shame to admit that at times I am overwhelmed by the tasks around me and I just need to stop and rest for a while either mentally or physically, while I regroup.  As a matter of fact I feel a great sense of pride in being truly honest with myself.

Now that I have the family settled back into the house at the lake for the summer I look forward to finding a routine that includes my “me time.”  Time to blog, time to read, time to paint or just time to sit and be quiet (okay, quiet will have to come before everyone else wakes up).

So this is me, just me and not some imaginary super woman, back again after a month of complete chaos ready to enjoy the summer.   So what should I do today?  The water is looking at me as calm as I have ever seen it.  I believe it is inviting me to come and play.  Maybe today will be the day I finally conquer the wake board.  Yes, I think that I am feeling pretty lucky today… the wake board it is.

So maybe I still like to imagine I am super woman just a little.  I’ll let you know how that works for me a little later.

Doin’ The Happy Dance

Oh ya, I’m doing a happy dance!  Not a pretty sight but I don’t really care.

Just finished My Anatomy and Physiology class.  Medical Terminology.. done, Anatomy and Physiology.. done…Medical Coding here I come!

Okay so it wasn’t a super hard challenge considering I already have a degree in Nursing Science and taught Anatomy and Physiology for a couple semesters, but still, it is a lot different being on the other side of the exams.  Not to mention the pressure from the kids.  Oh ya, they just love to get back at me.  You know the saying “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”  Apparently I am the gander.  “Why did you get one wrong?  Didn’t you study?  An A is only good if you put your full effort into it”.  I have never spent more time eating my own words!

As a reward for my accomplishments I think a little shopping is in order as well as a slight detour from the diet.  What better way to celebrate than a new pair of shoes, an iced latte (with whipping cream), and a giant brownie.

Dance on Mamma, dance on!

The Curse

by Andy Welsher, Creative Commons

“Tell dad he can’t retire before I graduate high school, that would be embarrassing.”

This is the grand statement my thirteen year old daughter made the other day at the dinner table.  I looked at her with complete confusion, a reaction that has become somewhat normal lately, and asked her where the heck that came from.

“You and dad are like the oldest parents in the school.”

Let me clarify something here.  I am turning 45 this month and my husband is 47.  Not extremely old for being the parents of a thirteen year old not to mention we have a fifteen and eighteen year old.

The only thing I can figure out is that we must have moved to a community that has a serious issue with teen pregnancy, no one in her school is the youngest in their family or no one is this community went to college, got a degree and began a career before they had children.

“Well just relax dad isn’t going to retire before you finish high school, as a matter of fact he will have to work until you finish college if we want to pay for it.  Feel free to start paying for our seniors home once you finish college though.  Obviously we will be too old to look after ourselves by then.”

I marvel at these people who say their children make them feel young.  Maybe they would like to borrow my daughter for a few days.  She can quickly provide them with a reality check.  After a few days with her you will know you are old and for free she will provide you with a few basic rules on aging:

  • Grey hair is not attractive
  • You may not wear any shirt that has the logo of  a “young person’s store”on it
  • Sexy is always inappropriate
  • Never try to dance
  • Don’t sing to the radio
  • You are not funny

Don’t worry my dear daughter, I have put the mother’s curse on you.  The same curse my mom put on me and hers on her.  It is the curse that has been passed on from mother to daughter since the beginning of time:

“I hope your daughter is just like you!”

Have you put the curse on your children yet?  Did your mom put the curse on you?  I know my mom did because I see it in my daughter and my nieces.  All I can say now is “SORRY MOM, I GET IT NOW!”