The house is quiet again. The morning rush hour is over, the kids are safely (I hope) settled into school and my husband is tucked neatly behind his office desk. Oh yes the joy of being a stay at home mom. I am so “lucky” I can just sit around and do nothing for the rest of the day and wait for everyone to come back at the end of their day. In the meantime what should I do? Perhaps drive around town in my new Lexus, get my hair and nails done at the salon, buy a new outfit, book the family vacation, and lunch with the girls. NOT!
I can’t count how many times I have heard “you are so lucky to be able to stay home.” I want to scream in reply that it isn’t luck that has allowed me to stay at home. I CHOSE to give up my career to raise our children, I didn’t win the stay at home lottery. With that choice came a great deal of sacrifice.
However, if you continue to believe it is a matter of luck let me give you your ticket for the STAY-AT-HOME-MOM lottery. Good luck!
Please don’t get me wrong, I am happy with the choices I have made. I wouldn’t exchange my time with my kids for any amount of money but it wasn’t always easy. Through our sacrifices my husband and I have been able to carve out a comfortable life for our family and we now have some of those extras that we once had to forgo. All I ask is that instead of looking at me and saying “wow you are lucky” look at me and say “wow you’ve worked hard to raise your family.” It is the same respect I give you when I admire your promotion or your ability to balance your career and family.
What we do in life is not about luck, it is a choice.
“I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round. I really love to watch them roll.”
SO much to do…yet here I sit doing nothing.
Why is it that when there is a lot to get accomplished I am struck with the desire to sit and think about the work rather than do it. I know that once I get it done I will feel satisfied, relieved, proud, yet here I sit. Perhaps I just don’t like feeling good. Maybe I feel more alive when I am under pressure. Who knows but right now it is just ticking me off and if I could reach I would give myself a good swift kick in the a**.
Maybe I should try one of those lists my husband is so fond of leaving around the house. Much like the pieces of the dryer that are lying around the house in an attempt to fix it. Yes that would be one of the jobs I need to do…buy a dryer.
Okay this is it, I am turning off my computer marching my butt out the door to buy the dryer, otherwise my children are going to school in dirty clothes tomorrow (now there is motivation, a thirteen year old daughter without clothes). When that is done it’s laundry, weeding, mulching, studying, closets, bills, basement, garage…who am I kidding let’s just start with buying a dryer.
Please tell me I am not the only one that gets stuck in these ruts. Maybe it’s the whole back to school thing!
Apparently I am not super woman. I cannot actually do and be everything. It came to me as somewhat of a surprise and I must admit, a slight disappointment, but I believe I am coming to terms with it now. Sometimes you just have to let something go in order to get done what truly needs to get done, hence the silence on the blog front for the past little while.
I think it is maturity and the aging process that has finally taught me that it is okay to admit that you can’t do it all. I look back on my early years as a mom and wife and wonder what I was thinking. Apparently the word “NO” was only in my children’s vocabulary. Now as I am older I do not feel any guilt when I say “no I can’t do that.” I feel no shame to admit that at times I am overwhelmed by the tasks around me and I just need to stop and rest for a while either mentally or physically, while I regroup. As a matter of fact I feel a great sense of pride in being truly honest with myself.
Now that I have the family settled back into the house at the lake for the summer I look forward to finding a routine that includes my “me time.” Time to blog, time to read, time to paint or just time to sit and be quiet (okay, quiet will have to come before everyone else wakes up).
So this is me, just me and not some imaginary super woman, back again after a month of complete chaos ready to enjoy the summer. So what should I do today? The water is looking at me as calm as I have ever seen it. I believe it is inviting me to come and play. Maybe today will be the day I finally conquer the wake board. Yes, I think that I am feeling pretty lucky today… the wake board it is.
So maybe I still like to imagine I am super woman just a little. I’ll let you know how that works for me a little later.
Coffee that is. I’ll take another coffee. I hate Monday mornings. Especially when it is dark and dreary.
The dishwasher is looking at me wondering when I am going to empty it. The washing machine is getting impatient waiting for the first of many loads to get started. My running shoes are sitting at the door in hopes of a brisk morning walk. My text books are curious as to whether or not they will be cracked open today.
My familiar friends are waiting with anticipation to see which one I will choose to tackle first today. You will have to wait a little longer my friends. As for now…I’ll take another coffee instead.
Why does the thought of having another coffee instead of tackling the daily chores of a stay at home mom make me feel guilty. I hate that I feel like I have to be “doing” something all the time. I am not entitled to just sit and relax. It is that whole stereotype of the stay at home mom eating bon-bons and watching Soap Opera’s that I am fighting.
I’ve been doing this stay at home thing for almost eight-teen years, minus the last attempt to go back to work before “the move.” It is just now that I have given myself permission to wear sweats, a pony tail and no make-up if I feel like it. Up to this point it has been “proper attire”, full make-up and hair fully styled.
Why do stay-at-home mom’s feel the need to justify what we do with our time? (Or is it just me?) It is an honorable job with little reward and no real recognition. I need to stop apologizing for what I do and if I want to have another cup of coffee, so be it. After all I can’t clock out at 4:00 and claim that my job is done for the day.
I read this in a book, I would love to tell you which one but just can’t remember. The book didn’t stick with me but the analogy did.
Each aspect of you life is a ball.
Now look at the list and realize that some of these balls are glass while others are rubber. Health, and family are glass. If you drop them they will shatter. Job and money are rubber. If you drop them they will bounce back.
When you are juggling your life remember which balls you need to prioritize.
Thanks to Gypsy Mamma Blog for another inspirational Five Minute Friday. This week’s topic is “perspective” Please stop by her site and join in the fun.
I love it when someone’s stupidity provides you with the perfect blogging moment.
Unfortunately that someone has been my husband far too much lately. Sorry honey I really love you and this isn’t supposed to be a husband bashing blog but really…you open the door, you walk in!
The week-end is here once again and like always we are trying to balance the multitude of tasks that need to be done in the household. Final decisions needed to be made last night about whether or not we could make it to Canada for the week-end to put the docks in the lake. The problem is we had already planned a dinner party for Sunday. When my husband suggested that we could make it up to the lake it was my assumption he had cancelled the dinner party.
Hubby’s Week-end Plan:
Friday 1:00 pm – leave for the lake
Friday 7:00 pm – arrive at the lake
Saturday – put the docks in the lake and visit with relatives
Sunday 9:00am – leave the lake
Sunday 3:00 pm – arrive home
Sunday 4:00pm – host a dinner party
Hello??? I don’t mean to burst your bubble but I really am not super woman.
I’m not super man
Question: when will we get the groceries?
Answer: you can do that Friday morning before we leave.
Question: When will I clean the house?
Answer: The house is fine, just whip through with the vacuum when we get home.
Question: When will we cook?
Answer: I’ll just through the meat on the grill.
Question: What about the rest of the meal?
Answer: That won’t take you long, you can do it.
No really I can’t do it! But thank-you for the perfect blog!
Guess what I’m doing this week-end…staying home, cleaning and cooking. Then relaxing with a wonderful dinner party.
Oh ya, I’m doing a happy dance! Not a pretty sight but I don’t really care.
Just finished My Anatomy and Physiology class. Medical Terminology.. done, Anatomy and Physiology.. done…Medical Coding here I come!
Okay so it wasn’t a super hard challenge considering I already have a degree in Nursing Science and taught Anatomy and Physiology for a couple semesters, but still, it is a lot different being on the other side of the exams. Not to mention the pressure from the kids. Oh ya, they just love to get back at me. You know the saying “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” Apparently I am the gander. “Why did you get one wrong? Didn’t you study? An A is only good if you put your full effort into it”. I have never spent more time eating my own words!
As a reward for my accomplishments I think a little shopping is in order as well as a slight detour from the diet. What better way to celebrate than a new pair of shoes, an iced latte (with whipping cream), and a giant brownie.