Well yesterday was the big day. The clock struck twelve and I turned back into a pumpkin. Okay not a pumpkin but I did turn another year older.
It really was a remarkable day. I did feel different. My life really did change. No it didn’t change because I’m suddenly 45 instead of 44. It changed because my son finished his last day of high school. Now you want to feel old on your birthday…that’s the secret.
So yes I did feel older on my birthday this year, but it wasn’t a bad feeling. I felt older, wiser and very proud. I got to see a first hand account of what I had achieved in forty-five years as my son stood to receive his awards at the senior recognition ceremony. I raised a fine young man who is ready to take on the world and has the dreams of making a difference and leaving his mark on the world. A young man who wants to pry into the mystery of childhood cancer and see if he can help to save a life or at least make one more comfortable if it cannot be saved. These are his achievements and dreams but I can take pride in knowing that something I did lead him to this place.
So for now I like forty-five. I don’t necessarily like the gray hairs that keep popping up on my head or the ever-increasing wrinkles around my eyes. I do like that as I am getting older I am able to see my life accomplishments. So much time is spent dreaming, planning, executing all to reach an end point. Now I am seeing that end point. It is funny how we begin to dream from the moment that line turns pink on that little stick. I realize now that I could never have dreamed how great it actually would be.
So what now, do I stop dreaming? Do I stop looking forward and just enjoy all that I have done? Heck no. I am just beginning. Only now instead of dreaming about what my kids will become I will dream about what I might become. Yup, I do like 45, I think it’s going to be a good year.