The Creative Challenge.

I have always fancied myself a creative person but ever since I went back to work I have struggled to find that part of myself.  I sat down with my daughter to paint the other day and I was blank.  I couldn’t find a single stroke to put on the canvas.  Madison looked at me and asked why I wasn’t painting.  “I have nothing” I told her.  “As much as I want to paint I simple can’t find any inspiration to put onto the canvas.”

“That is because you have forgotten how to dream” she responded.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well ever since you went back to work you have your head filled with work stuff.  All you think about is work and bills, and the house.  When you fill your head with that there isn’t any room for dreaming.  If you can’t dream, you can’t create.”

You know I really don’t remember the last time I had a dream.  Such wisdom from a young mind.

So now it is time for me to find my creativity again.  It is a part of me that I love and don’t wish to lose.  I am challenging myself to do something creative everyday for the next 365 days!  It doesn’t have to be something phenomenal it just has to be something.

So today is the first day of my challenge.  Do you think coloring my hair would be considered creative? Okay I may be stretching it a little.  So instead I have baked today.  A coffee cake and brownies…creativity in the kitchen.  It isn’t much but it’s a start.

As for tomorrow let’s see what I can come up with.

I challenge you to join me in the creative challenge.  Get in touch with your creative side and share your accomplishment with me.  Don’t let the best part of you get lost.  You know the famous saying….use it or lose it!

Who knows….maybe I can even start dreaming again!

 

Always Time for More.

Well it has certainly been a long time since I have visited my blog.  All I can say is WOW!!!! Life sure can change in six months.  I have managed to go from being a stay at home mom for eighteen years to a full-time employee in a thriving company.

So now I should be able to answer the ever-present question … is it harder to be a stay at home mom or a working mom?  The answer is simple…neither one is very easy.  I can’t say one is harder than other just different.  As a working mom I sure have had to learn to let a lot of things slide such as housework and cooking.  Neither of which I can say makes me very upset.  Working prevents me from having some time just to myself which I do miss.  However, working certainly gives me a great deal more self-satisfaction than I ever had as a stay at home mom.  Being a stay at home mom is probably one of the loneliest jobs in the world and the pay back is next to nothing.  I can’t tell you how good it feels to have someone tell you are doing a good job and that your efforts are appreciated.

I like the way I have tackled my life.  I wouldn’t give up my years at home with my kids for anything.  Did I ever expect that at this time in my life there would be a chance for me to still have a career?  Absolutely not, but what an incredible surprise to find out that there is still so much left for me to do.  I don’t really have to give up on my dreams of having a career or advancing in the workplace.  Only time will tell.  All I know is that as long as I am willing to work hard and dream big I can have almost anything I want.  A lesson I hope my kids will learn from watching me embrace life’s opportunities.

So whether you are a working parent getting ready to stay home or a stay at home parent getting ready to work it really doesn’t matter.  We are all just people tackling life as it comes to us, doing the best we can and trying to make each day the best it can be.  We are never too old to dream and it is never too late to try something new.  Our kids are watching us and our actions will always speak louder than our words.  So instead of telling them that they can be or do whatever than want show them.

Live your life in a way that you would want your kids to live theirs.  Be the person that you want your kids to be.  Don’t be afraid to fail, just be willing to try.  You don’t have to be perfect you just have to be your best.  You can’t always have everything you want but you can always have everything you need.  Sometimes we have to sacrifice and other times we can indulge.  These are the lessons your child is learning by watching you live.

This is just me learning to be the new me!

 

Who Am I?

Have you ever sat and wondered what you were meant  to do?  Thinking to yourself, surely I am meant to do something important, my life has to mean something.  I know I do.  Then I ask myself, am I not trying hard enough?  Am I not using my “talents” to their greatest ability?  Am I missing something?  Because truthfully I don’t see myself as having accomplished very much in my life.

I went to University and got a great education, had the potential to be an amazing nurse, yet chose to stay at home with my kids and not work at all.  What have I done that I will be remembered for?  When I laid my head on the pillow at night I would ask God to talk to me, tell me what it was I was supposed to be doing and I heard nothing.  I assumed I wasn’t listening hard enough or even worse I wasn’t important enough for even God to bother with.

Now I know that I didn’t hear God because he had already told me what I was to do and I had done it.  I was meant to stay at home and be with my kids.  God simply said, stay the course, don’t give up.  Oh several times I tried to steer my ship in a new and more exciting direction, carve my own path, draw my own map and each and every time I was put back on course.  It is only now that I realize you don’t have to effect a multitude of people to be important.  You don’t need to change the world or have your name known by millions, effecting one or two people is enough.

I will never be the next great artist, a Pulitzer prize-winning author, I won’t be the CEO of a major company or a political leader.  I will not save thousands of lives or develop a cure for cancer, I won’t be a professional athlete or famous movie star.  I won’t leave my mark on a very big piece of real-estate when I leave this earth and I will be lucky to fill the first half of the church at my funeral, but there are a few people who my life has made a difference for and that is all that matters.  I may not cure cancer but perhaps my son will, I may not be a great artist but perhaps my encouragement will allow my daughter to be one.  I may not invent a new piece of medical technology but perhaps my other son will.  I may not save the lives of thousands but perhaps one day, someone I spoke to, or encouraged, or merely smiled at when they felt alone, sad or desperate were effected just enough to go on and live another day.

I have stopped asking what great and wonderful thing I am supposed to do with my life.  Instead I thank God for the opportunity to be myself.  I try to remember that my actions speak louder than my words and everything I do and everything I say has the ability to change the life of someone around me.  What an awesome responsibility!

Be the best self you can be everyday!  Perhaps you will write the next great novel or be the hottest blog on the internet, you never know.  What you do know is that each and every day at least one person will hear your words or see your face.  Make sure what you show them is something that you will want to be remembered by and that you DO have an effect on this world.

Love Story

Oh how I have missed you.  I put you out of my mind for so long because the pain of thinking of you was just to great to deal with.  Yet you where never far away.  As much as I tried to forget I knew you were there waiting for me and that made me miss and want you even more.  Yet that same wanting only made me feel worse, you reminded me of something I once was and something I longed to be again.

I am sorry I banished you from life, I am sorry that I made you go away.  I beg you to forgive me but I had to do what was right for me.  I had to send you away until I was ready to face you again…and here I am!  It has been a year but I am ready, I am ready to see if we belong together once again.   I am ready to see if you still make me feel as good as you once did and if we are once again a perfect fit.

It is with great anticipation I am facing you once again, I am excited but scared.  I am nervous to see if my journey has brought me to a place where we can once again fit into each others life.

I see you from across the room, you look the same as I remember.  I hope I look different to you, I hope that you can see the transformation I have made.  I pray that you appreciate the change I have made so we can be together again.

In an instance we are reunited..like we were never apart and you feel better now than you did when I last saw you.  Rather than making me feel confined and uncomfortable I feel loose and free.  I feel like the woman I have wanted  to be, I feel healthy and happy.  You have completed me!

Yes you are my favorite jeans and I am so sorry I crowed you out of my life.  I am sorry I squeezed you out while I made room for cookies and ice cream.  Please forgive me, I have missed you and so glad to have you back!

jeans

Now as for the eighteen pounds I have lost…I can’t say I will ever miss you!  Good-bye and good riddens…I hope to never see you again!

Give Me A Chance!

 

Day after day I filled out job applications, wrote new resumes, and cover letters.  I tried desperately to think of new and creative ways to put a spin on the fact that I am a forty-five year old mother of three who hasn’t had a “real job” in almost eighteen years. Day after day I checked my phone and emails to see if I sparked the slightest interest in any prospective employer, but alas the little green light was not flashing on my phone and the only emails where the usual requests for payments or notifications from the schools.  BUT I DON’T GIVE UP!

I know I have a lot to offer and I would be an asset to any company if given the chance.  A chance that is all I need but do I want to wait around for someone else to believe in me.  I believe in myself and I can give myself the chance?

I am no longer going to wait for someone else to give me an opportunity, I am going to make my own!  So what shall I do?  Why not hit the internet and see what is out there.  This is the thought process that went through my head last week as I set about searching the internet to find something I could sink my teeth into and create my own opportunity.

I came across an online jewelry boutique.  For no cost I could set up an online jewelry store!  This had me written all over it.  Many years ago I did those annoying house parties and sold a very nice line of jewelry and was quite successful at it, but honestly I have never been a fan of the “parties.”  So this sounded perfect.  So here I am the proud owner of an online jewelry boutique called “Simply Perfect.”

As fate would have it the moment I decided to take matters into my own hands the magic green light began to flash on my phone.  Yes, believe it or not, I was finally able to catch a break and someone appreciated the skills I have developed over the years and in more particular the last year and called me for an interview.  By the end of the day I had a job offer.  Two days later I was starting my new job!

Isn’t it funny how things work.  I think God was waiting to see if I was willing to step up and take control myself.  Waiting to see if I was just going to sit around and wait for someone else to give me an opportunity or was I going to make my own opportunities.

So now I both employed and the owner of an on-line jewelry boutique!  I’ve always been good a multitasking and eighteen years of being a stay at home mom has taught me to nurture and develop my creations, so I am not giving up on the jewelry.  I will give my spare time (haha) to it and make it what I can and it will always remind me that I believed in myself!

Don’t sit around and wait for opportunities, make your own!  Life can be an exciting adventure if you chose to go out and explore it!

 

Call Me…Please! Call Me…Maybe?

Daily Prompt:  Call Me Maybe:  Describe your relationship with your phone. Is it your lifeline, a buzzing nuisance, or something in between?

waiting_for_phone_to_ring

 

I sit and stare at it willing it to ring.  Come on phone ring…ring…ring!  Then like magic the I hear the beautiful voice of Alicia Keys singing “This Girl Is On Fire.”  (Okay so my choice in ring tones is a little off but it is supposed to be inspiring)  Quickly I pick up the phone and with bated breath I wait to hear the voice on the other end. 

Is this the decision maker of the house?”

I’m quickly deflated and before spewing my disappointment and frustration on the poor sole just trying to make a living, I hang up the phone.

My phone and I have developed a love/hate relationship as of late.  You see being a forty-five year old woman who hasn’t held a real job in almost 18 years, waiting to hear from the millions of job applications she has sent out, can wreak havoc on your relationship with your phone.

So you see I am trying to stay positive, surrounding myself with the words of Alicia Keys…”This Girl is On Fire”, but I am nearing desperation and may soon use the words of Carle Rae Jepsen… “Call Me Maybe. 

Here is to all my fellow stay at home moms trying to find their way back into the work force.  Keep your head up, your spirit high and your phone close by because one of these days it’s just gotta ring and until then… create your own destiny!

CMDestiny

 

 

Toot Your Own Horn

Daily Prompt:  Toot your own horn.  Most of us are excellent at self-depreciating, and not so good at the opposite.  Tell us your favorite thing about yourself.

Horn_(instrument) (2)

Wow this is a tough one.  Is it my inability to see what is good or is it the apprehension of “tooting my horn that holds me back?”

Okay I am going to give myself one minute to write as many positive things about myself as I can.

1..2..3..go:

  1. kind
  2. good mother
  3. smart
  4. creative
  5. good friend
  6. efficient

stop!

Okay not such a good effort but at least something to start with.  Out of these six traits which is my favorite?  I would have to say my creativity.  Most of my positive traits have to do with how I am with others and translate into how I make others feel.  Don’t get me wrong being a kind, good mother and friend makes me feel good too, but my creativity is just for me.  When I sit down with a paintbrush I am pleasing no-one but myself.  I don’t care if the end product is pleasing to anyone else.  Sometimes I don’t even like it myself but I have enjoyed the process of creating.  When I create a piece of jewelry I am proud of myself and feel good about myself and again I am not trying to please anyone but myself.

Hmmm maybe I better revisit my opinion about the modern art at the MOMA.  Maybe these artists where feeling similar to me when they created their art.  I still contend that it needed an R rating but who am I to judge what someone else wants to create.  Then again I have never claimed to be an artist and I would not ever expect to hang my work in a gallery.

This was a fun exercise you should try it.  Take one minute to write down as many positive attributes about yourself as you can and then decide which is your favorite and why.  I’d love it if you would share it with me but if you prefer to keep it private I get it.  After all it isn’t easy to “toot our own horn.”